I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize