the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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