I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize