saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
