so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
