remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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