Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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