At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
