yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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