Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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(515): View more from Iowa

If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.

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(813): View more from Florida

I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.

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