By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
