she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
