$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
