i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize