she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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