talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
