Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
