Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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