is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
