I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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