I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We have started to decorate penises.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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