My sheets look like a crime scene.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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