I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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