So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
