we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
