He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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