I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
