Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
