My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
