i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's always time for handjobs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
