I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize