I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize