why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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