the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
