He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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