Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you never un-have a 4some
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
