Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize