I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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