Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
