I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
