if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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