You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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