You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
