It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
