and she was petting her beer can
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
