Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she looked like the before picture.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
