what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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