We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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