it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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