Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
