I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
