I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
