Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
