If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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