So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
