Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
