she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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