i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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