I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
