There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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