the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
