she woke up with a sticky ear
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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