The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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