What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
