Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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