How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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