i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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