big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
